My Journey to health started 10 years ago. I always had the idea about myslef that I am healthy except with periodic bouts of anxiety.
I was physically healthy and active all my life. I ate relatively well, I had a healthy weight and most importantly I had a good outlook on life. I had severe anxiety through college, but I did not let it hold me back. I faced it head on, pushed it down, pretended it does not exists and acted like everything is ok.
I got married at 23 and went to college until I was 27. My husband and I attended the same college after we got married. I was finishing my undergraduate degree after a move across from Europe. I was 7 years older than anyone else in my class, so when they went out at night partying I went home to my husband. I cooked dinner, did my school work, and the next day went to work. I had generalized anxiety, but I did not know why. I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin, and I did not know why? Everything seemed fine in my life, I had a loving partner, a comfortable life, and lots of plans for the future. But something deep underneath was not quite right, and I could not point my finger what it was.
I did not pray or meditate or spend much time in introspection, but I started yoga and it seemed to help to calm my mind a bit.
I graduated college in 2007 and got my first full time job. My generalized anxiety started to subside and I was looking forward to start a career, make more money, buy a house, have kids and reach that American Dream!
Two months after I started my new job, I found out that I am pregnant. When I saw the positive pregnancy test, I looked at my husband and asked: "What have you done to me?"
I was not ready for a kid, I had so many plans and goals to achieve before I had kids. I was planning to start graduate school in social work and public health policy at UNC Chapel Hill. I worked hard for 3 years to get into these programs, and now instead of starting grad school I will be changing diapers??
Oh no!
[story continued on next blog post: Becoming a Mom]